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And Choose Solutions Instead
Did you know that worrying about tomorrow robs you of today? Of the here and now? It often takes your focus away from the people and situations that need your immediate attention thus causing you to stress and worry more. As much as you think worrying is helping you solve your problems, like how you’re going to pay the bills, what to wear on that hot date this weekend, will the children grow up to be decent human beings 20 years from now, etc., it doesn’t. It steals your peace and joy and replaces it with sadness, anxiety and depression. Worrying is the worst pastime ever!
Now, I understand we all worry. I’m guilty of it myself. In fact, up until a couple of years ago, I think I was one of the all-time best worriers ever. If worrying were a competition, I’d be one of the world record holding champions. I was notorious for worrying about everything and everyone, even if the situation had nothing to do with me. Every stressful or life altering situation I found myself in, even happy ones, resulted in me fretting about all the possible outcomes, good, bad or otherwise. It was like playing a game of chess against myself. It was both agonizing and annoying. Worrying about everything only enhanced my feelings of depression, sadness, being trapped and alone. It wasn’t until I started my Reiki training and was asked to focus and contemplate on the precept: “just for today I will not worry” that I began to reflect on how much I truly was worrying and the affect this was having on my life.
This precept was, and at times still is, a hard pill to swallow. Worrying was my default setting in life. Now I was being asked to stop and take a good hard look at how worrying was affecting me and those around me. It was uncomfortable to do at first because I didn’t want to see how negative worrying is most of the time. I had to force my ego to step aside to really see how my worrying was a detriment to my well-being and how it was affecting those around me. I had to make a conscious effort to see the affects my worrying was having not only on my mental and physical health, but that of my son as well. Since my son is empathic, he picks up on the vibes and feelings being put out by others. So, when I worry, no matter how hard I try to put up a strong front, he’s one of the first people to ask me what’s wrong. And like his darling mother, or a dog with a bone, he doesn’t stop asking until he gets an answer.
Before I made the decision to end my marriage I worried about everything from how to keep up with paying all the bills, keeping up the appearance of normalcy and keeping me and my son safe. When I made the decision to end my marriage I had these same worries, plus figuring out an exit plan and dealing with perceived judgement from those around me. Once I began paying attention to how my behavior was affecting my son, I knew I had to stop worrying and obsessing, over all the “how can I?” and “what if” situations in life. I had to stop worrying about everything! This was not – and still can be challenging at times – something that came easy to me. It’s not really a concept that comes easily to a lot of people. Most of the time people don’t know they’re worrying, it’s just what they find themselves doing: bills, kids, work, current events! With so much to worry about, how does one stop worrying?
It’s not a cycle easily broken. I’m not going to be Pollyanna and tell you to take it one day at a time, or that you just need to focus on the positive of every situation. While these sentiments help, they really don’t stop you from worrying. The truth is, like I’ve said before, we all worry. Some of it is for good reason, most of it just induces unnecessary anxiety, stress and depression. The best way to stop worrying is to take a step back and ask yourself, “where is this getting me, where is this taking me and am I in quicksand?” If you’re not getting anywhere by worrying, then you need to stop, take a deep breath and ask a new question, “what can I do to change or solve my current situation?” Remember to contemplate on this one. Take the time to sit and think of the possible answers and opportunities to help you solve your concerns. It’s not magic, but unlike worrying, it helps get you moving forward to possible, viable solutions rather than a vicious cycle of “what if” or “but this, but that” which doesn’t take you any place you want to be. What are some of your best responses to, “What can I do to change or solve my problem?”
Now, I understand we all worry. I’m guilty of it myself. In fact, up until a couple of years ago, I think I was one of the all-time best worriers ever. If worrying were a competition, I’d be one of the world record holding champions. I was notorious for worrying about everything and everyone, even if the situation had nothing to do with me. Every stressful or life altering situation I found myself in, even happy ones, resulted in me fretting about all the possible outcomes, good, bad or otherwise. It was like playing a game of chess against myself. It was both agonizing and annoying. Worrying about everything only enhanced my feelings of depression, sadness, being trapped and alone. It wasn’t until I started my Reiki training and was asked to focus and contemplate on the precept: “just for today I will not worry” that I began to reflect on how much I truly was worrying and the affect this was having on my life.
This precept was, and at times still is, a hard pill to swallow. Worrying was my default setting in life. Now I was being asked to stop and take a good hard look at how worrying was affecting me and those around me. It was uncomfortable to do at first because I didn’t want to see how negative worrying is most of the time. I had to force my ego to step aside to really see how my worrying was a detriment to my well-being and how it was affecting those around me. I had to make a conscious effort to see the affects my worrying was having not only on my mental and physical health, but that of my son as well. Since my son is empathic, he picks up on the vibes and feelings being put out by others. So, when I worry, no matter how hard I try to put up a strong front, he’s one of the first people to ask me what’s wrong. And like his darling mother, or a dog with a bone, he doesn’t stop asking until he gets an answer.
Before I made the decision to end my marriage I worried about everything from how to keep up with paying all the bills, keeping up the appearance of normalcy and keeping me and my son safe. When I made the decision to end my marriage I had these same worries, plus figuring out an exit plan and dealing with perceived judgement from those around me. Once I began paying attention to how my behavior was affecting my son, I knew I had to stop worrying and obsessing, over all the “how can I?” and “what if” situations in life. I had to stop worrying about everything! This was not – and still can be challenging at times – something that came easy to me. It’s not really a concept that comes easily to a lot of people. Most of the time people don’t know they’re worrying, it’s just what they find themselves doing: bills, kids, work, current events! With so much to worry about, how does one stop worrying?
It’s not a cycle easily broken. I’m not going to be Pollyanna and tell you to take it one day at a time, or that you just need to focus on the positive of every situation. While these sentiments help, they really don’t stop you from worrying. The truth is, like I’ve said before, we all worry. Some of it is for good reason, most of it just induces unnecessary anxiety, stress and depression. The best way to stop worrying is to take a step back and ask yourself, “where is this getting me, where is this taking me and am I in quicksand?” If you’re not getting anywhere by worrying, then you need to stop, take a deep breath and ask a new question, “what can I do to change or solve my current situation?” Remember to contemplate on this one. Take the time to sit and think of the possible answers and opportunities to help you solve your concerns. It’s not magic, but unlike worrying, it helps get you moving forward to possible, viable solutions rather than a vicious cycle of “what if” or “but this, but that” which doesn’t take you any place you want to be. What are some of your best responses to, “What can I do to change or solve my problem?”
My guest appearance on The Livestream of Consciousness with Michael Zinn
When someone is trying to leave an abusive relationship, toxic work environment, recover from an eating disorder or a health crisis it can be overwhelming. People in these types of situations want to leave, but until something profound happens, they won’t.
Dragonflies symbolize change, transformation, adaptability, and self-realization. They also signify new beginnings.
Being both compassionate to oneself and to all others can be a challenge for some. While some find it easier to be compassionate to themselves, but not necessarily to others, and for others the reverse is true. When I first started learning and contemplating this precept I discovered that it was not as easy as I thought it was going to be. In fact, I had to break this precept down into two parts so that I could merge them together into one.
The Universe nudged me into Reiki and now I no longer feel like a Sesame Street song.
You might be wondering why being grateful might be challenging. A couple of reasons that come to mind are perspective and circumstance. The way one looks at their world has an influence on whether or not they feel they have anything in their life to be grateful for. For example, what I’m grateful for may not be what you’re grateful for, and what you’re grateful for might not be what your neighbor’s grateful for. However, we’re all grateful for something. Individuals trapped in an abusive situation, suffering from depression or anxiety, someone who feels oppressed might find it harder to find something to feel grateful for. Getting into and staying in the flow of gratitude is important, especially when life sucks.
We all experience anger, sometimes it can get the better of us. Like when someone cuts us off in traffic, our kids refuse to listen, we get an upsetting email from our co-worker or boss. Any of things can turn us into screaming, seething lunatics and ruin our day – if we let it.
Distance Reiki does work. Just ask my client Eric.
Receiving confirmation of my psychic gifts and learning how to use them.
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Contact info
(570) 677- 6785
thequiethealer@outlook.com
(570) 677- 6785
thequiethealer@outlook.com