Discovering I’m an Intuitive/Medium – I Always Kinda Knew I Was Different, But Didn’t Know Why
On my journey to becoming a Reiki Master Teacher, I learned that I’m an Intuitive/Medium. As a child I had an uncanny sense of knowing things that were about to happen before anyone else around me, seeing places without ever being there and being able to describe them in detail, and I would often experience intense déjà vu. Since I was just a child, I didn’t think much about these experiences, nor did they seem to bother me until I was nine-year-old.
When I was nine my mom moved me and my sisters into our new house. Since we’d only lived in rented houses or apartments up until this point, this was a momentous occasion for our family. It was also the time when I began experiencing things that I couldn’t understand, but made me feel uncomfortable in our new home. I often felt like someone or something was watching and following me wherever I went in the house. Everywhere I went this entity was there. I would enter a room and I suddenly would become aware that someone or something was in the room with me. Sometimes my skin would burst into gooseflesh because of the sensation of something cold and invisible brushing, intentionally touching me. At the young age of nine I knew that whoever, whatever this was, it was nefarious, and it wouldn’t leave me alone. It was at this time I began to realize that I might not be imagining the things that had been happening since I was little.
What I didn’t know then, but I know now, is that the house had a history. While I still don’t know exactly what happened in the house, I know it wasn’t good. Whatever happened in the house occurred between the kitchen and the basement (this has been confirmed by others is my field.) I know this because ever since we moved into the house not only have I been uncomfortable in the kitchen (let’s face it, there’s a lot of dangerous stuff in there), I’ve always been terrified of the basement. Both locations have been where I’ve had some of my scariest visions. I’ve seen a couple fighting, I’ve heard distorted arguing and I’ve felt like one of these individuals was hurt badly or killed. The latter took place in the basement, and this is the place where I’m most uncomfortable in my childhood home. Growing up I was scared of the basement. I was so scared, that when my bedroom was in the basement I would run down the stairs and straight into my bed and wouldn’t get out until morning. I literally felt monsters under my bed.
As a grew into adolescence I fought hard against my gifts. Let’s face it, being a teenager is hard and being perceived as different doesn’t help. Especially if some of the things you say to your friends freaks them out. Suppressing my gifts wasn’t easy simply because I had no clue on how to control what I was seeing, hearing, feeling or sometimes smelling. I had no idea when something I would say might upset or freak out my friends. I was always socially awkward and felt a bit of an outcast (this is still true to this day) and I just wanted to be a normal teenage girl. Navigating adolescence while suppressing my gifts was no easy feat, but I somehow managed to get through high school without many of my friends thinking I was too weird. If fact, I had gotten so good at ignoring my gifts (that was my way of suppressing them) that I thought I was normal and ordinary as everyone else. Then I went away to college.
While I was away at college, I discovered that just because I was in a different location didn’t mean I stopped being different. This discovery upset me quite a bit and had me afraid. I was upset because I, like many other college freshmen, was looking forward to a fresh start from the hell of high school. I was afraid because I didn’t want college to be like high school all over again. I didn’t want to hide behind a façade, I wanted to be myself and be liked for who I am. Who doesn’t? One thing that worked in my favor was that nobody from my high school went to the same college as I did. I gathered my courage and faith, put my best foot forward, and made friends. What made where I went to school and the people I met so wonderful was that we were all a little strange in our own way, and that was great! I no longer felt alone. While I had a great circle of friends, only a choice few really knew what my gifts were. I was still trying to figure out why I was this way and how to use it to help others. The friendships I forged and cultivated during college allowed me to finally be accepted as I am. College graduation was bittersweet. It was time to grow, and that was going to be painful. While I’m still friends with my close circle of friends from college, it’s hard not being able to see them in person without having to get on a plane or drive for 18 to 36 hours (thank God for video chat).
